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7 Bizarre Crimes of 2012

Offbeat  January 09 2013
 — By Nora Holloway
7 Bizarre Crimes of 2012

As a year, 2012 was filled with a lot of crazy crime headlines. From outrageous thefts to mistaken identities, there was no shortage of “interesting” stories. Crimes are no laughing matter, but sometimes it’s hard to not find some humor in the blunders of the  judgment-impaired individuals behind them.

We picked some of the most circulated stories from around the country and listed them below. Think we missed a particularly ridiculous crime? Share it in the comments.

Games - Go to Jail

That Dastardly Cleaning Fairy

This past November marked the apprehension of Cleveland’s notorious Cleaning Fairy. Susan Warren, 53, confessed to letting herself into a home and performing light housework.

After tidying up, Warren left a note asking for $75 for services rendered. Luckily, she also left her phone number, so the homeowner could reach her. Upon waking up, the homeowner was not pleased to find the bill and notified police.

The Huffington Post stated that Warren received one year of probation and 20 hours of community service for her unsolicited cleaning spree.

Almost Doesn’t Count

Two well-meaning New Jersey citizens accidentally let the bad gal get away in August. As they were driving along, they came across what looked like a man assaulting a young woman. Rushing to her defense, they jumped out of their car to her aid and held down the man. This allowed for the woman to flee the area.

There was one problem… it turns out the woman had just robbed the man. The victim had been attempting to stop the female assailant from making off with his money ($400) and gold chain (valued at $500), when the two restrained him. Adding to the chaos, it turns out that the victim was both intoxicated and spoke very limited English.

Shortly after the police arrived, they interviewed the distraught man and questioned the would-be Samaritans. The Blaze reports that two motorists will not face charges, and the woman is still at large.

What’s in the Attic?

We all regret that one relationship. No one knows this better than one South Carolina woman, who discovered an ex-boyfriend had been living in her attic.

After putting her younger children to bed, she heard a loud thumping coming from above her bedroom. She sent her adult nephew and older sons to investigate. That’s when they came across the spurned lover. He had piled up old coats and jackets into the heating unit, which is where he had been sleeping.

The woman had broken up with the former beau years prior to the incident; however, he had done some work on her house last year. WCNC stated he had been released from jail two weeks before he was found. The suspect had been in jail for stealing the woman’s truck.

What a legendary romance!

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Getting Baked 101

Kids today! Two Colorado students slipped pot brownies to their history class during the “bring food to class” day. Although they might have thought it was an innocent prank, their actions sent several people to the hospital, including their professor.

According to the Daily Camera, the not-so-dynamic duo could face suspension and felony charges. Each could receive a 12-year prison sentence.

That’s two academic careers that just went up in smoke.

Grand Theft Chinese Food Delivery

After stealing a food delivery car, Keith Hinds decided to do what any entrepreneurial thief would do—he continued dropping off Chinese food and collecting the money. According to Newser, Connecticut police said that Hinds had actually made one delivery by the time he was arrested.

Hinds was charged with larceny, possession of drug paraphernalia and additional drug charges.

Enraged Cat Lady

A Texas woman was booked in September for allegedly shooting her husband. What could spark such violence? Audrey Miller, 42, felt that she needed to protect her cat from her husband. He had threatened to harm the feline during a particularly heated argument.

Miller ended the fight by firing a shot into the man’s stomach. ABC News reported that he was taken to a nearby hospital and was listed in stable condition.

Unlawful Love of Nature

The next time you have the urge to swim with manatees, make sure no one has a camera. Ana Gloria Garcia-Gutierrez found out the hard way that riding a sea cow can end in jail time.

Nearly two months after the incident, a photo came to the attention of authorities in St. Petersburg, Fla. They asked the public for help and identified the woman as Gutierrez. They then arrested her at the Sears where she works.

Gutierrez fessed up to touching the animal, but explained she did not know it was illegal. According to the LA Times, the maximum penalty is $500 and six months in jail. She was released on $1,500 bail.

What is your most memorable crime headline from 2012? Share it in the comments. 

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